


Toxic

by Angel_made_of_scars



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 09:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6418945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_made_of_scars/pseuds/Angel_made_of_scars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not my usual work, I know, but I thought I publish it. This kind of writing helps relieve stress for me, and I actually kind of liked the way it turned out.</p></blockquote>





	Toxic

It hurts  
Goddamn it hurts.  
It hurts to see you here, you're fifteen feet away but too far to reach. You're throwing yourself into the arms of another girl and laughing. I hear that laugh and my head spins around, and when I see you.  
When I see you I cower.  
It's so goddamn painful to hear when I know you're not laughing with me.  
It's not as painful to know you're not laughing at me.  
It hurts to know I'll never go to your house again, and you'll never come to mine. I hurts to know I'll never sleep in your bed again, and watch a bad movie, wishing you were still awake to talk with me. It hurts to know I'll never see you with bed head, trudging into the room, grumpy in the morning, because I wake up late, but you wake up later. Sometimes.  
The nights I'd wake up warm, comfortable, with arms wrapped around your waist. The nights I put a pillow between us so that wouldn't happen.  
The one night I wondered if I could get away with kissing you.  
I didn't, because we're friends, and that's not what friends do. I honestly never thought about it again, but.. There's an almost. A might have been. It hurts to know that won't happen.  
It hurts to know all my friends are gone, because you took them and turned them against me. You made them into awful people, full of hatred. It hurts to know I was that too once, an unwilling pawn in your game. A player who would hurt for you and hang my head silently as you yelled at people.  
A person, who realized it was wrong.  
A person, who realized I was stronger then you.  
A person who got off half of their anxiety meds after dropping you, and who's depression and self-loathing slowly lessened.  
A person.  
That's what makes it all ok.  
I'm a person again. A person who realizes.  
You were always toxic.

**Author's Note:**

> Not my usual work, I know, but I thought I publish it. This kind of writing helps relieve stress for me, and I actually kind of liked the way it turned out.


End file.
